Coming into my own...

Still not sure exactly what that is, but I know I am not the same person I was a year ago, or even a month ago. I have lost about 30 pounds since I went to Spain. Every time I have traveled somewhere, I have come home lighter. Can't put my finger on it, but I guess I ate better and wasn't sitting behind a desk all day.

I have lost 221 pounds. More than most of my guy friends weigh. I haven't worn the size I am in right now since I was in high school. I am actually starting to feel good about myself, first time I have ever given myself the right to do that. How sad. Just happy I found out I am worth it before it was too late. Still young in the scheme of things to be miserable and feel so unworthy.

Never thought having gastric bypass surgery would change my life the way it has. Yes, I knew it was a wonderful thing, a tool to help me be a healthier person, but I just didn't realize it would change much more of me on the inside than it has on the outside. I still have moments of crippling self-esteem issues, but they are fewer and farther between now. Still have to convince myself that I do deserve to be happy, that life is mine to embrace. Tall orders from a self-proclaimed hermit/couch potato.

Exercise is my new best friend. Who would have thought the same girl who struggled to walk up the basement stairs from the garage in her own home would be walking 5 or 6 miles now? I love how it makes me feel. Never ever thought those words would exit my mouth. My friend and I just signed up for a half marathon in March. Never thought I would ever do something like that! We are so excited. Plan on walking most of it, and it doesn't hurt that it is in Seaside of all places-who woudn't want to walk along scenic 30-A along the coast-but just glad to think of ourselves as strong enough to accomplish 13.1 miles. Got to start training soon...March will be here before we know it.

Lots going on in my life right now...a little bit of good, little bit of stress and some contentment all rolled into one. Just glad I am in a better place to deal with whatever comes my way.

A few pics...

I am actually finally beginning to tell a difference in myself, physically. Couple of before and after shots.

Today, I had surgery 17 months ago. So I consider myself 17 months old. My life started over that day. So grateful....

Still have some to go and probably some plastic surgery but so grateful to be so far from where I was before.

Wanderlust...

I've been back from Alaska for a few days now and I am still adjusting to Alabama life. This was honestly one of the best trips I have ever been on. I had been to AK before but did a cruise/tour and it was much different than this trip. We were traveling in groups of 50 vs my group of 12 this time. Much more intimate and much easier to navigate through this vast state. We had WONDERFUL weather. It was so nice that even the Alaskans were shocked! Could probably go back 10 more times and not have the weather we had while we were there. Crisp mornings and that deep blue fall sky with not a cloud in site. It was spectacular.

I had an affair with life while I was gone...did things I would have never dreamed I would do. Lots of walking and hiking--and I survived and didn't huff and puff my way through like I had to in Italy. Getting to know new people and actually enjoying that--usually so shy I tend to keep to myself and be a loner but not on this trip. Made it a point to get to know new people--and have gained wonderful friends in the process.

Took an opportunity to fly back through Denali National Park on a tiny plane. It looked like something you would see in a happy meal. Anyway, I never would have done that in a million years. It was the most amazing thing I have done thus far...

Had someone share with me that it seems I am now I am finding out what it means to be alive. I think I like it. Traveling is such a big part of that. I don't want to stay home now! This is from a recovering hermit. There were times I didn't leave the house once I got home on Fridays until I left on Monday morning. Not anymore.

Hope you can keep up with me...I am not going to stay still long! Next trip---somewhere out west I think. Missing California, want to start at San Diego and drive up the coast. Or maybe Yellowstone, or heck, I may just go back to Alaska. I don't know if I can wait that long for my next trip though so I think a nice beach trip in October is in order.

Happy traveling....

Ramblings...

So I have been back from Spain a couple of weeks now. Trying to settle back in to "real" life. The mission trip was the most amazing experience I have ever had. I can't wait to go back. I miss those kiddos like you wouldn't believe. And we all lost weight while we were there. I lost 11 pounds! Lost a few more when I got home and have now lost 201 pounds. Yeah. Crazy.

I wish I could talk more about Spain and our work there but I can't say much due to security issues, including our exact location. We did a 6 day English camp in a small village and even got to attend the village's Fiesta (much like Carnivale in South America but a much smaller scale) and we saw so many of our kids and they were thrilled to see us. We even did a traditional circle dance that was the pinnacle of that night. I have never felt joy like I did that night. Magical.

Decided to do a list--you learn a lot about people when you spend 14 days with them!

Things I Learned on My Trip

• The seats on the plane in front of bulkhead don't recline
• Always get pasta on the plane
• Rugged, comfy sandals leave weird tan lines
• You get sun even with SPF 70
• Spain doesn't like to let cats fly to the US
• Some people can't eat with their glasses on
• I took 3000 pictures
• I can do a devotion in front of 7 other people
• Round abouts...you either love them or hate them
• Spain has amazing pizza
• Futbol fans are a little maniacal
• I bought a Espania futbol shirt
• I can sleep just about anywhere
• I can do without TV for 14 days
• I can't do without email, Facebook, or Twitter for 14 days
• Loved Skype. What an awesome way to communicate.
• Even the world's busiest airports are deserted at 1 am
• A/C? In Europe? What's that?
• All the A/C units must be with all the escalators somewhere
• 14 days with 5 other people. If I didn't love them before, I can't help but to love them now.
• I don't speak Spanish
• The kids for the most part didn't speak English
• And it didn't matter--smiles and hugs don't need a translator
• Don't look in the shot glass at a Chinese buffet
• I wish I was there now
• I can't WAIT to go back
• I feel like I left my family behind
• Praising God for such a life-changing opportunity to serve alongside some amazing people
• Rocks weigh a lot
• So does chocolate

My heart is still in Spain. I tear up every time I think about it. I will never be the same!

I've Done a 180...

Yeah, I have done a 180.

Exciting.

I have officially lost 180 pounds.

I know grown men who don't even weigh that much.

Maybe I should find one and try to carry him around on my back all day.

Then I could really see (and feel) the magnitude of what I have lost.

Thankful for being given this gift.

Just plain thankful.

Surely it hasn't been that long...

Yikes! I can't believe I hadn't written since August. I guess that is a testament to how busy my life has been since then.

I did get moved over to my new position at the church and I think I am finally getting settled. I felt like I was brand new, that I had just started at the church. I was doing two totally different jobs and I won't sugarcoat anything...it was a rough few months! I had all these new responsibilities that really stressed me out. I still love my job and I love the guys I get to work with everyday. I love being back over at the main building, though I sure miss my youth buds. Makes it more special when I do see them though.

I had really come close to losing some friendships due to me not putting anything into them. I am happy to say that that isn't true anymore! I have had so much fun getting to know all these folks again and getting to hang out with them.

Still working on the house...will it ever be finished?!? Doesn't seem like it. The list seems to get longer and longer.

I celebrated my "surgiversary" on February 19th. I can't believe it has been over a year since I had my surgery. I am glad to be 176 pounds lighter. Still have a ways to go but I am so glad to have come this far. I have discovered I have no spring clothes. Time to hit the thrift store. I am so blessed with wonderful friends who spent this year encouraging me, loving me and giving me hugs and pats on the back...I couldn't have done it without y'all! I went back through all my emails from that time around my surgery and I just sat at my desk and cried. It was overwhelming. I am going to try to upload some pictures...

March 12, 2010

February 18, 2009...Night before surgery

I was so miserable. Inside and out. Now I am within 5 pounds of the weight on my driver's license! :o Now I have to get ready to bed since daylight saving's time is kicking my tail. I HATE it.

Peace out, bro.

Good Times

We celebrated my sister's birthday last night...had a wonderful time. I have been trying to get them to eat with us at Fox Valley for years and we just never made it happen. This year, Alison mentioned going so I got us all together to go for her birthday. Mom and Alison, who aren't big seafood eaters, trusted my judgement on Fox Valley's famous crab cakes and ordered steak and cake. Dad loves crab cakes so I knew he would love them. Well, they all cleaned their plates. Alison was even trying to get to the sauce on my plate! If you haven't been to Fox Valley, I highly recommend it. A great date place since it's a tad pricey. Everything you put in your mouth makes your eyes roll back in your head. It is that good. I went with one of my best friends right before I had surgery as my "last meal" and I think I ate enough for three people. I have had just a crab cake since and did very well with it so that is what I ordered last night. Delish. Anyway, I will now get off my shameless plug soapbox.

We all came back to our house to open presents and play some Wii. Alison brought her controllers so we could easily play with four people. Dad wanted to watch so mom, Alison, Mark and I started a game of bowling. I have done well with bowling until last night and I stank! Mom was hysterical. She never really learned the technique but it didn't matter since SHE BEAT ALL OF US! I wish I had a video of her bowling. I came in 2nd, Mark 3rd (so he still has yet to beat me) and the birthday girl was last. Dad took Alison's place in the 2nd game and mom was determined to beat him! She is so competitive but won't admit it. I did better the 2nd game and actually won, mom came in 2nd and I don't remember who came in last. We had so much fun! Alison and I decided to play tennis and she smoked me. Twice. We had some good matches though. One lasted forever. We are pretty evenly matched. Wish we could play more often!

I am so blessed to have my family so close. Mark's family isn't too far away either and I wish we saw them more than we do. I don't know what I would do without our families. I hear so many sad stories of estranged families and I am so thankful we both have parents and siblings that are such a huge part of our lives.

I know I talked about moving in my last post...and I still want to! We are trying hard to get our house ready to put on the market. It still needs so much work but Mark and dad have worked hard to get it to where it is now. New floors, paint and light fixtures have already brought it into the 21st century! We just got vinyl siding and new windows and it has really added a lot of curb appeal. Still have tons to do, though. Hoping the housing market will pick back up. I want to live on some land which means moving north of town. We will be closer to both our families so I am hoping we can make that happen in the next couple of years. I really want a garden--I love fresh vegetables and I would love to spend summers canning veggies and fruit preserves to enjoy throughout the year. I inherited that from my grandmother. We canned many jars of tomatoes when I was growing up. I miss those days! I gave Alison my last jar of pear preserves I made last year and she proclaimed them as liquid gold. Made me feel like a million dollars! I made four jars of peach preserves earlier this week and it really got me in the mood to can some more stuff. The pears on our (neighbor's) pear tree are ready so I think I will tackle that soon!

But for now, time to relax and enjoy my Saturday...hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend!

Reconnecting

Hey folks...can't believe the last month has gone by so quickly. The summer is gone and school is about to start back. No, I don't have any kids going to school but it sure does make my commute MUCH longer. Not looking forward to having to get up earlier next week.

I have realized I have really been so disconnected...to friends, to family, to coworkers and the worst of all, to church. It all began last year when I sat back down in the pew after a song and it made this horrible cracking sound. I really thought I was about to end up on the floor. I was so mortified that I crawled into a very deep hole. I was there until this past summer. I would get up, go to work, go home, lay on the couch, go to bed and do it all again the next morning. On the weekends, I didn't leave the house. I just shut down. And I was indifferent, I didn't care. Didn't care to go anywhere, see anyone or even answer the phone. Many times, I didn't even want to pray. That meant I had to face reality.

After my surgery, I was hoping the low self-esteem I feel that fueled so much of this would start to fade away. I was praying I would feel more confident and realize where my true identity comes from. It's been slow, but it is finally getting better. The past six months, my prayer has been to move. I thought if I could start over somewhere else, start fresh and anew, that my life would be totally different. The disconnect I was feeling was mottled by discontent. I was ready to sell our house (which is in no condition to put on the market right now) and move! I kept praying for the Lord to ease my discontent, to be content in what He has provided for me; a wonderful husband, a family that loves me unconditionally, a job that I love and the best friends that I could have ever hoped for. So why did I have this unquenchable wanderlust?

The Lord was preparing me to move...just in His own way and in His own time.

I was approached by my supervisor about moving to work in another ministry area. I never saw it coming. As I sat in her office, it was like the door opened and I could see so far in the distance. Such a clear, beautiful path. A path the Lord had been preparing me for...a path He wanted me to take. So I did.

So on Monday, August 24th, I will be working in a new ministry area, two as a matter of fact. Missions and Ministries. I will be leaving the student ministry, a place where the last five years of my life I have lived and breathed this ministry. I still love the students, families and my coworkers. They are a part of my life that will never go away....but I am so excited about this new adventure the Lord has for me. I love the two ministers I will be working for. They are such men after God's own heart. I respect them both and I am thrilled to work with them. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't nervous though!

This was about being disconnected. I am happy-no, more like overjoyed-to say that I have spent the last month at every service the church has had. Last night, I was looking around and just feeling sorry for the ones that choose to stay home on Wednesdays--then I had to remind myself that I spent MANY Wednesdays at home. Moving back to the main building to a new ministry position is exactly what the Lord had planned for me all along. That disconnected feeling is fading more and more every day. I am so thankful.

I am going to be so plugged in, I am going to need a surge protector...

P.S. I have lost 109 pounds :)

Black Pants

The night before surgery, February 18th, 2009. Lucy had to be in the picture, too.

Taken June 29th, 2009. If you can't tell a difference, keep it to yourself. ;o)

Hiatus Over! I am back!

When I am overwhelmed, the last thing I want to do is write a blog. For some, that may be the opposite, for them writing is a release. I can't organize my thoughts when I am overwhelmed! Actually, I think I am still overwhelmed but just handling it better than I have the past two months.

Heard a great quote the other day and it got me thinking. "Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs." Wow. How often do we do that? I know I am very guilty. It is in my nature for everyone to be happy. Even if it means forsaking my own. Not good. But, I learned something about myself. I can still go out of my way to help people because that brings me joy! However, I don't have to make their happiness consume every fiber of my being. If it doesn't bring me joy, it isn't worth it.

Ok, off the soapbox.

I am just finishing a plate of cheese. Cheese in any form has become an entire food group to me. I love it! It is easy to eat, full of protein and easy on Pete. I have nicknamed my pouch Pete. My goal is to make Pete happy at all times. Sometimes, he gets very unhappy and we he does that, we are both miserable.

I am beginning to see real changes in my appearance. We celebrated a dear friend's birthday last week and lots of pictures were taken. I always hated pictures and never wanted to look at them when we got them back, if I managed to even be in any of them. Usually I hide in the back...or run! Anyway, she sent me the pictures and I didn't hate looking at myself. I could really see the difference. It made my day.

My clothes are getting baggy, too. Some stuff I really shouldn't wear but I still find myself dragging the same baggy clothes out of the closet. I want to have a big bonfire in the fall and burn every pair of black pants that I own. The fire may last for days! I have a LOT of black pants. It's slimming you know. No one can tell you are obese when you wear black pants. Easily takes 100 pounds off of you. What? You didn't know that?

As of this morning, I have lost 97 pounds. 4 months and 16 days ago, my new life began. 97 pounds later, a new person is emerging. Or should I say a hidden person...she has always been there. Waiting for her chance to escape.

She has been fighting her way out of a big pair of black pants.

Welcome home, girl. Welcome home.

Where's the Beef?

On my plate! I added beef and pork to my expanding menu this week. I was so excited! I am SO TIRED OF CHICKEN! I felt like I was growing feathers out of my ears. I cooked fajitas Wednesday night with beef strips and they were so good. Thursday and Friday, I had leftover BBQ pork from Jim N Nick's. Oh boy was it good. Now I need to figure out some good, healthy recipes to incorporate my two "new" foods. Any ideas?

I also have started drinking V8. The spicy hot one! It is so yummy!

The past two weeks have been hard emotionally because of things going on at work but I will persevere. When I get upset, though, I don't eat or drink and I can't afford to do that now. Really don't want to get dehydrated. NOT GOOD!

Had my 2nd support group meeting Thursday and it was great catching up with all my buddies at Princeton. I really enjoy seeing everyone and hearing about everyone's progess. Through this surgery, I have made some wonderful life long friends. I am so grateful for them!

Oh...and I have lost 60 pounds now. :)

Minus 53

It is Easter afternoon and I am molded into the couch. It is cloudy outside (which should make me happy) but for some reason, I have the blahs. Probably because it is Sunday which means tomorrow is Monday which means work. Woo hoo!

I think I have a skin cancer place on my neck thanks to an example I saw in a magazine I was reading last night. That could also be contributing to the blahs. I am very nervous about it and know I need to go get it seen about ASAP. Sigh...

I did add two new foods to my very short list! Almonds and shrimp. I love them both! Almonds are such a good, crunchy snack for me and I will probably keep some in my purse all the time. Did you know that if you get stuck in line at Walgreen's that you can find the sleeves of almonds in all kinds of flavors? I got vinegar and salt. Oh my. They were so good and I got my craving satisfied for that salty, savory chip I had been missing. They also have smokehouse and chili-lime. Yum.

I ate four shrimp tonight for dinner. And I mean shrimpy shrimp. Not the jumbo ones that look like a lobster tail! I can't believe how full I get. Last night, we were out running errands and we got some chicken mcnuggets to share. I ate two. I used to eat ten. Yeah, big difference.

On another note, I am going to begin the training to become a medical transcriptionist. One of my friends I went to high school with has been doing it for 10 years. After we became friends again through Facebook, I saw on her profile that she does this full time and also has her own training program. To make a long story short, as of last Saturday, me and three friends of mine signed up. I am so excited! I got my first book yesterday. Will start studying tomorrow! I want to make supplemental income and eventually be able to stay home and do this full time. That will be a little while, though.

So to explain the title if I need to, I am down 53 pounds. I am happy with the weight loss since it has only been two months. I can begin to tell a difference in my clothes but still have a long way to go. Taking it one day at a time!

Thanks for reading!

My New World is Overwhelming

So now that six weeks has passed, I can eat anything..well, except citrus (too acidic), sugar (can't digest well) and soda. So why am I still eating the same things? I am afraid to branch out? Some people have trouble with red meat and pork so I haven't tried those yet. I don't want to get sick but I won't ever know if I don't try them. I grilled chicken Friday night and ate maybe 5 bites and probably should have eaten only 4. Eating is just not fun anymore-it won't always be this way. Eventually I will get to eat a little more and also eat more of a variety. Eating is just work now! Before I ate whatever was in front of me without giving it a second thought. Now, I have to think and plan my meals. Maybe if I had been doing that before, I wouldn't have had to have gastric bypass surgery! :)

I just made some sugar free fudge. I had a small taste off the beaters and it wasn't too bad but wasn't something I would crave by any means.

I am just blah today. Don't get me wrong, I sure don't regret having the surgery. Having to work through establishing a new routine is so worth the 49 pounds I have lost. I wouldn't go back and change one thing!

Thanks for reading...I appreciate all of you!

May I decrease as He increases...

37 Days

Yep...it's been 37 days since I had surgery. I have been on the same diet for over a week now. I go to my lifetime maintenance diet next Friday-the 6 week mark. So strange to think about. I have really been on a crash course of a new life. Started out on liquids, then mushy foods, then solid foods, then meat...and next week, raw veggies and fruit. From infancy to adulthood. All in six weeks.

I have been feeling good-still get a little tired every now and then. I just have to remember to take my vitamins that are to be a part of my life forever. I have SEVEN I have to take every day. They are all chewable and thankfully they don't taste bad.

I get to start using my Curves membership after the six weeks mark. I am excited about getting to exercise. Did I really just say that?!?! I haven't been doing any exercise (I should have been walking) but I haven't made time for it. Not good-I need to schedule exercise in my day like I do anything else.

If you know anyone thinking about having this surgery or is already scheduled, send them here. They can leave me a comment and I can send them my email address. I want to help others who want, or already are, taking this same journey.

Love to you all!

Cash for Books

I LOVE to read! I read everything I can get my hands on. I get 33 magazines a month, all subscription. Crazy...I know. I also have tons of books. Most I have read more than five or six times. They are piling up to the point I don't know what to do with them. Now, I don't want to get rid of all my books but the old Danielle Steele novels can certainly go. Lo and behold, I ran across a blurb in one of my magazines about a website called Cash 4 Books and all you have to do is type in the ISBN number on the back of the book and see if it is one they are currently buying back. They will even send you a free shipping label! Yet another easy way to do some spring cleaning around the house. Most of the time, books only fetch a quarter at best in a garage sale and this site will pay a little more.

Happy Spring Cleaning!

Support is a Girl's Best Friend

Not THAT kind of support, although it is vital to me or else, well, you don't really need me to go there...I went to my first weight loss surgery support meeting tonight. It was sooooo what I needed. What was so refreshing was the freedom I felt being in that room. I didn't have to worry about being the fattest one in the room (although I was). No one judges you. Everyone has been where you have been, or they are about to be there. They understand. They laugh with you, they cry with you, they want to get to know you for YOU. Not that I don't have friends like that support me but I hate meetings, especially where one I have never been to before. I would rather hide under my desk or curl up under the covers. You can refer back to the post of WHY I had this surgery. So anyway, I met some great new people. We all share the same struggles. Chairs that we don't fit in. Ordering two drinks in a drive thru so they think two people are going to eat all the food you ordered. Worrying what everyone thinks about you. Yeah. That is my life. But not here. For two hours, I was fat and I wasn't alone.

I sitll sat in the back corner. Haven't come out of my shell too far yet! But I will.....just wait.

Trial and Error

It has been almost 3 weeks since surgery and for the most part, I have been doing pretty well. I have tolerated meat well even if it was of the potted variety, and plan to have a "real" piece of chicken this weekend.

I guess life in general could be called "trial and error." I have been doing trial and error with my meals the past few days. I have always eaten very fast...I wolfed down my food. Learning to eat slowly and actually chew my food has been the hardest thing. If I eat too fast, I am full before I realize it and one more bite will send me to the couch with a cold rag. Not good. I have done it more times than I care to mention. I have found that I can tolerate real eggs much better than egg substitute. Who knew? Peanut butter is ok....UNTIL I ate one teaspoon too much and then it was off to the bathroom. Ugh. I still haven't tried sugar. About 40% of WLS patients can't tolerate sugar. I hope I am in the 60% who can. I can't imagine not being able to eat a couple of bites of chocolate. Or cake. Or ice cream. Or my mom's pound cake. Or a 3 Musketeers. Or a Cadbury egg. Yikes! I like sugar! Sugar is in everything that is good! Even Catalina salad dressing and barbeque sauce! One day I will try a bite of something sweet, maybe on a Saturday, and see how it affects me. Fingers are crossed!

So I am living life by trial and error these days. Nothing wrong with that, that's the only way I will learn. I am hopeful that all of this will just become second nature.

I am down 27 pounds since I weighed on March 6th. I am not sure when I will get to weigh again. My scale at home only goes so high. Wow I can't believe I just typed that for everyone to see!

It's the Little Things....

Day 15 after surgery is approaching. It is actually tomorrow! According to my sheet of instructions from my surgeon, I get to introduce some more things into my diet. Guess what I am most excited about??? VIENNA SAUSAGE! I haven't eaten those since I was in elementary school but now, it sounds like a steak. Not just any steak, but a gorgeous, juicy, melt in my mouth fillet. I can also have potted meat product. I am almost just as excited about that and have stocked up on some deviled chicken spread. Mmmmmm....it's the little things. Little milestones on this big journey. I think I am going to make it!

Post-Op Ponderings...

I saw a Zaxby's commercial yesterday and I think I cried. I miss food. I had nine months to learn how not to miss food, but I still miss food. I am able to eat more...yogurt, scrambled eggs, applesauce, grits, even refried beans and cheese but it doesn't taste like a chicken finger.

I can only eat about 6-7 baby spoonfuls of food. If I eat more than that, my tummy will hurt. I used to eat a large chicken finger platter with dessert. Used to. Never will again.

I did hear that I would "mourn" food. Mourn food? That sounded really silly to me. Yet, here I am, mourning food. Mourning the way stuffing myself in front of the TV would numb all my feelings, good and bad. Mourning the way it could make a bad day disappear. Mourning the way it would make a celebration that much more fun. Yes, I am mourning food.

Now I the fun part, I have to figure out what made me eat to numb feelings. That's hard. Once the pounds come off, the vulnerable part of me is revealed. She is coming whether I want her to or not. I have to deal with her. Head on. We have to become "friends" and figure out what makes her tick. Right now, we are kinda looking at each other from across the room. I guess I need to make the first move. Get to know this new person. After all, she is me.

Guess what Mark cooked for dinner last night? Chicken fingers. I just sat back and smiled at the 20 pounds I have lost. I did want to lick the air molecules, though.

Surgery Diary

One week ago today, I was waking up in recovery begging for pain and nausea medication. I never got sick but I sure felt like I would. After my wonderful nurse got everything under control, I just lay there with a damp, cool washcloth on my face, listening to the busy sounds of the post op recovery sounds all around me. My abdomen HURT but thank goodness for whatever they were giving me.

I didn't get moved to SICU until around 3 pm. I had only seen my parents for two seconds-I got called back that morning before they even got there so I didn't see them before the surgery. They paraded them back to recovery only because we have a good friend who is a surgeon at Princeton. Once I got to SICU, I was so happy to see my family. BUT I WAS SO THIRSTY! They wouldn't even let me have so much as an ice chip. My throat hurt and it was so dry! I got these pitiful little sponges to dampen my mouth. They helped but oh my goodness I wanted a big gulp soda like the bass drum carrier at July band practice.

I had great nurses in SICU-both male! If I even glanced their direction, they wanted to know what I needed. I had a restless night and after a 5 am lap around the floor, I waited anxiously for my contrast swallow test that would open the world of having something to drink!

At 7:30 am, they came and got me for the test. As horrible as the contrast tasted, a-it was cold and b-it was liquid so therefore it was like manna from heaven!! When I got back up to the room, I asked for liquid refreshment. They brought me a cup of water, except the cup was something the size of the medicine cup you get off the top of the Pepto Bismol bottle. And get this, I could have ONE of those every two hours. I got the first one down in no time. Ahhhh, was that good. Every two hours, I waited anxiously for my "shot" of water.

I got moved to a regular room around 1 pm. The first thing they did was bring me a bottle of Crystal Light and some tiny ice cubes. I loved those ice cubes and CL Raspberry Ice will go down in the history books as being the best thing I have ever tasted since my mouth had been on a drought.

Friday afternoon was wonderful...after I could drink again, I felt like a new woman! I had lots of visitors and they could come and go as they pleased, not hindered by the strict time table of SICU. I was feeling good, actually felt like talking and hated to see everyone go. I slept well and before I knew it, morning had arrived and when Dr. Smith came and pulled the drain out (that was 2 seconds I would rather not think about again), he told me I could go home. Oh, and Saturday I could have TWO medicine cups of liquids every two hours. That was like hearing I had won a million dollars.

After a little mixup with dr's orders and a nurse who hadn't read my chart, my IV came out and 10:30 and she said I could get dressed and call my ride! WOO HOO! Home. Dad came to get me since Mark was working and after a stop at Sloss to see the old train at the Fairgrounds being moved (Don't ask, I really did want to see it) we picked my mom up and headed to my house. Mom worked all afternoon cleaning and straightening and dad blew leaves out of the yard. I have groovy parents.

Our sweet Sunday School teacher brought dinner over so while I enjoyed my Crystal Light-2 little cups in case you have forgotten-my parents, sister and Mark all enjoyed a delicious dinner. A knock at the door around 7 pm brought in my sister in law and brother in law! I was so excited! After a wonderful visit with everyone, I got to bed, after a dose of narcotics, and fitfully slept.

Since Sunday, I have been doing better with each hour that passes! I had scrambled eggs Sunday night. I was scared to death to eat them but oh my, they were wonderful and didn't upset my newly created "pouch." I got my staples out yesterday and last night, I slept like a baby. Ahhhh....

Your prayers were felt. Oh my were they felt.